


i'll give you anything

by magisterequitum



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-01
Updated: 2013-04-01
Packaged: 2017-12-07 05:08:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/744611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magisterequitum/pseuds/magisterequitum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>she opens herself to him and waits. </p><p>(au fic)</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'll give you anything

_You're like a disease_ she says to him. 

It's probably the most embarrassing speech of her life, pouring her soul and heart and everything in her out to him, laying all the cards out and then some, placing herself into his hands. It's the most honest she's ever been too. 

Somehow it's all worth it, she tells herself. Even when he doesn't say anything back, not what she wants at least, even when he doesn't take her in his arms like the movies told her he would. 

It's enough that she finally said it and got it out. 

It has to be. 

 

 

 

Lexie goes home and changes out of her scrubs. She puts on an old pair of sweatpants and washes her face, pulling her hair out of its elastic and letting it fall around her shoulders. She makes tea in the kitchen. The ends of the sweatpants are threadbare and worn, catching on her heels and the floor as she walks. 

The TV flickers to life and it's nothing but romance movies on the Lifetime Network. She turns it off. 

She drinks her tea. 

She goes to sleep and curls under the covers and tries to not feel the emptiness beside her where someone else should be fitting against her. 

 

 

 

 _Teach me_ she'd told him once. 

Teach me and she'd taken her clothes off and pulled him to her and felt the heat of his body against hers and the warmth of his mouth on her skin and the way his fingers had trailed over the vertebrae of her spine. 

She realizes now that he had taught her.

She watches him down the hall where she leans against the nurse's station. He's taught her everything and then some. They taught each other. She doesn't regret leaving him. Doesn't think her anger was wrong, and the first time they'd not been ready and it hadn't been enough. But he'd taught her about herself and how to love herself, and she doesn't think she can thank him enough for that. 

Lexie's not sure he'd even want to hear it. 

She's not sure she wants to hear him say she didn't teach him anything at all. 

 

 

 

"I just miss him," Lexie says around the lip of her beer bottle, taking a sip while she cradles the glass in clammy hands. News travels fast in the hospital, and it's not like she can keep things from Meredith these days anyway. 

Meredith's mouth purses as she stares at her. Her mouth moves as if she wants to respond, her eyes and the expression on her face giving away the fact that she's trying to think for something. She closes her mouth and sighs. Her fingers reach for Lexie's hands and she holds onto her bony wrist. "We should have gotten tequila."

She laughs and nearly chokes on her beer. The barley makes her throat burn. She wishes just once the movies were right. 

 

 

 

She goes to work and she wears her hair up and her face smooth and she goes to work and saves lives. 

She does not think about how his eyes follow her around the halls. 

She does not. 

This is what she chants to herself.

 

 

 

Two things happen at the same time. Her phone buzzes and a knock on her door comes at the same time. She lets it go to voicemail and listens to the message. A trip needed to another hospital for a surgery, a flight that leaves later. Someone bangs against her door again, and she can't ignore it. 

Mark's angry face greets her on the other side when she opens it. The lines on his forehead pull down and his mouth's tight and a thin line. 

"Mark," she tries to get out, but he interrupts her, leaning forward. 

"You're an idiot." 

Lexie's taken aback and her throat feels tight all over again, not from beer this time. She goes to step back, away, to leave, but his hands cradle her face. Big hands and warm palms, his thumb tracing over her cheekbone. 

"I'm an idiot," he says, and his voice is tender and softer, and then he's kissing her. 

The phone falls to the floor as she focuses on putting her arms around his neck, pushing herself up to fit her body against his and his height. She's missed this. The feel of him against her. The way he holds her. The little spot on the back of his neck that always gets a noise out of him, and she touches him there now, swallowing the growl as hers. 

_I'm sorry, I'm sorry_ Mark says against her hair, to her neck, to her lips. _I love you._

"I love you," she tells him, speaking it out loud and in the darkness of her room with him on top of her and around her, and it speaks for both of them. 

 

 

 

"I thought you wanted in on this surgery?" 

Mark shakes his head at Meredith. "I have something I have to do." 

 

 

 

The comforter is pulled tight around them, his palm spanning the curve of her hip, her toes tucked into his shin. 

Her phone buzzes across the floor.


End file.
